and here in spain i am a spaniard 
i will be buried with my marionettes 
countess and courtesans have fallen beneath my tender hand 
when their husbands were not around 
but you, my soiled teenage girlfriend 
are you furrowed like a lioness?? 
and we are vagabonds 
we travel without seatbelts on, we live this close to death 
 
but i won, so you lose 
guess it always comes down to???

I’m losing my mind
Way behind
I’m losing my mind
That’s why I ain’t fine

It’s starting to get me
It’s here to collect me
I can laugh if I have to but it won’t make me happy
That’s why I ain’t fine
That’s why I ain’t fine

here we are again in the middle of my room laying down on the dusty as shit rug staring at the ceiling at those glow in the dark stars and planets stickers i stuck on there when I was seven

they’re peeling away
they’ve been up there a long time
I would hate to be them
to be a constant reminder to a small child that the dark isn’t a bad thing, that it could be cool and exciting
then they’ll get over their fear and you’ll just be there peeling away because everyones too busy to take time out of their lives and throw you out
it’s been a long time

words

waking up gasping for breath with pain shooting down to my thighs and horrible cold sweats

god it’s 2am I’ve been awake from that short sleep for an hour now please I just want to sleep

i can’t go to school tomorrow I really can’t
fuck make this end
i don’t know how much longer I can spend these nights alone while the pain spontaneously creeps up my spine and all over
why isn’t anything working
and why am I alone

I’m such a sick little shit and I just want to disappear

i am one unhappy motherfucker

everyhting i everb strived for isnt worth shit now i just want tyoy to be rproud but instead 

but instead 

fuck  icant do this anymore just fucking get over it priscilla just fuckign stop no one cares you dont want to care just STOP

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AND WHY ARENT YOU ANSWERING MY CALLS jesus christtutu literally all fucking alone home alone while being like this is NOT GOOD i have to tie my hands to my bed or something because holy fuck i really cannot i am going to punch a mirror or something fuck me fuck me fuck me i hate myself so much